I spent like the past 4 days laughing at the M3 press release. I mean come on... I love BMWs as much as the next guy but this is hysterical. I copied and pasted some of my favorite sentences below, WITHOUT ANY EDITING from the press release for your reading pleasure:

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Precisely this is why the new BMW M3 is not only outstandingly responsive in its acceleration, but also completely shattering in the way it develops its power.

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Indeed, with its superior power, performance and dynamism, the new BMW M3 ensures truly unique sheer driving pleasure of the highest calibre.

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Seen from the rear, the new BMW M3 again boasts superior and powerful proportions.

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The air flow duct and the dual tailpipe moved far towards the centreline of the car appear to visually contract the rear end in the lower middle section, building up a feeling of superior tension in the eyes of the beholder extending all the way to the horizontally flowing lines of the bumper.

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Coming with a light shimmering effect, Melbourne Red, for example, combines unique brilliance and colour depth. Jerez Black, on the other hand, boasts blue pearl pigments to again provide unique highlights and unprecedented appeal.

I think I can do better. I think I am going to apply for a job at BMW Marketing. Here is a sample of what I am capable of:

The unique and superior M3 delivers miles of the utmost driving pleasure. With its magnificent and omnipotent M V8 powerplant combined with the most advanced and subliminal driving dynamics every created in the universe, the driver will experience unparalleled amounts of multiple automotive orgasms. This tantric driving orgasm will last for what will seem like an eternity. The rumble of the magnificent engine will vibrate the spinal cord of the occupants, sending unsurmountable pleasure waves while casting everyone into a frenzy of shared delirium and car lust. At the height of the automotive sodom and gomorrah, car ejaculatory matter will spew out of the exaust pipes, coating uncountable miles of road with slippery God's nectar, rendering all other inferior cars out of control to meet their untimely deaths, so help me God.