There's this offramp, see. And its nice and sweeping and opens wide ass up to like six lanes from 2. So, when I get to take it, I do so with a bit of vigor. Excitement, even. I've been doing since I first got my '02 and it was a single lane opening to two.

I make my run to 70 (or maybe 80, depending on whom you ask ) while on the phone with a vendor discussing iSCSI SANS. Bluetooth handset, of course. I hate shifting and talking and shifting and talking. Over the next 1/2 mile or so, I make a few lane changes that could be considered agressive. I mean they weren't high beam flashing, horn honking or gun toting redneck inciting or anything.

I had a nice series of smooth openings where a transition required acurate timing and a mindful consideration for those dumba$$es around me. And, like a good boy, I check the rear view once I'm settled into my lane. Who should be crawling up but a Crown Vic complete with balck mirrors. Whoops.

He snugs up close enough to get a birds eye view of any overspray I may have missed on my rear bumper and then backs off. Until the off ramp that was a mile later. I am still yacking on the phone. Nonchalantly.

He honks. I ignore. (count this as the first use I remember of this smiley)

His window open, he waves his hand for my attention. I tell my friend who was listening to me fret for the last minute or so to hang on.

He says, "Hey, why you drivin like an idiot back there? Where's the fire?" Thoughts, including the joke about a cop marrying my ex-wife and trying to give her back race through my head.

I say, simply, "Aww man, I'm just tryin to get to my mechanic's place!" I was smiling. He actually looked familar. He tried not to smile back, but he did anyway. One look at me and he knew I'd been at the wheel for awhile.

The smile faded as he put the cop face back on. "Well, you're bein an idiot back there! No turn signals. Drivin 80MPH. You need to slow down. 80 in a 55 is wreckless driving. You dont need that on your record."

I drop the smile and assume scolded child face. "You're absolutely right. I'll keep it down, sir."

He drove away.